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Are You Ready to Retire?

For The Winning Mind with Dave Smith

Make your friends still on the job at your old agency envy your life — don’t sit around and envy them

By Dave Smith
Reprinted from Policeone.com

Law enforcement is a family. No doubt about it, once you are initiated into the fraternity of warrior men and women you feel the sense of it, the pull of it everywhere you go. If you are “on the job” you instantly have rapport with hundreds of thousands of folks anywhere you go, from San Diego to Halifax, from Hamburg to Orlando. From your hometown to mine, the sense of belonging is a comforting certainty you will enjoy the rest of your life... or will you?

I was talking with my friend Jim Gerien — NYPD retired — about this very issue at a recent Street Survival Seminar. “Once a cop, always a cop, except once you’re retired you are expected to move on. ‘On the job, you’re the best, off the job, you’re a pest!’ is an NYPD homily meant to remind everyone of that very fact,” Jim explained of his beloved NYPD. Jim and the folks at NYPD have a very solid support structure for retirees to feel connected and not suffer the brutal sense of separation so many report upon “leaving the family” upon retirement.

Yet even with those support services, some have a hard time letting go of that sense of belonging, and the vast majority of you will not have anything like the NYPD has to ease you into retirement. It’s going to be up to you. Also, it doesn’t matter if you have a “countdown to retirement clock” on your computer screen or just don’t want to think about it because you are enjoying the job too much to consider the idea of leaving, the day will come when you leave this profession as an active participant.

Believe me, it will be stressful, so start planning today.

Think of the outside activities you enjoy and keep building on them. Think about the next job you might like to have when you “grow up.”

Many of you will go into other law enforcement endeavors, some will go into other professions, and some of you will just kick back and start the tough mission of being the adventurous retired. Know that this changes things. It changes your relationships, your routines, and your life in many ways you cannot imagine today, and that is where the need to develop a plan that makes it as pain free as possible.
The healthy way to transition is to make your retirement just that — a transition. Make it a path to a new adventure in your life and not an ending. Your friends will still be your friends but understand the nature of the change in your relationship. Showing unexpectedly up at briefing with donuts can become a little creepy if you overdo it, so don’t. Make your friends still on the job at your old agency envy your life — don’t sit around and envy them.

Get ready for your next adventure — your next path in life and please by happy. For those of you with friends retired or retiring, stay supportive and never fail to heed a call for help from a former colleague. We are still family.

About the author
Dave “Buck Savage” Smith is an internationally recognized law enforcement speaker, trainer, video personality, and author. He began his police career in the State of Arizona, holding positions in Patrol, SWAT, Narcotics, Supervision, Investigations, Training and Management. Dave holds numerous instructor certifications in firearms, defensive tactics, and human performance and is a proven expert witness and consultant.In 1980 Dave developed the popular “JD Buck Savage” video training series and was a police instructor for the original “Street Survival” seminar by Calibre Press and was an intricate part of the company for nearly 30 years. He now writes for numerous publications, speaks internationally and is the author of the popular book In My Sights. Dave is currently the owner of "Winning Mind Seminars" and the Director of Video Training for the online PoliceOne Academy. Dave Smith is one of the most well known law enforcement trainers on the market today and is available for appearances through his website at www.jdbucksavage.com.
Contact Dave Smith and Follow Dave on Twitter

Fitness Tip from

Having a hard time making it to the gym? There are a multitude of exercises that use minimal equipment and can be performed virtually anywhere just like the four exercises shown in this video.

Expand your exercise toolbox and learn tips to ensure safety.

Essential #1 for Career and Relationship Success: Emotional Maturity

By Dr. Dorothy McCoy

“The awareness of the ambiguity of one’s highest achievements (as well as one’s deepest failures) is a definite symptom of maturity.”—Paul Tillich

Relationships and careers are built on a foundation of emotional maturity. No matter how dynamic, witty and intelligent one might be, these characteristics mean virtually nothing unless we have learned to control our emotional responses to life. True, we hire bright, well-educated, experienced applicants. Though, be assured, these attributes wear thin very quickly if their emotional maturity is marginal -- or worse. Emotions are the icing on the cake. Emotions are the Corvette in the garage. Emotions are the aged, superb cabernet in the goblet for our species. Without our virtually unlimited variety of feelings we would be little more than soft, well dressed robots. Nonetheless, emotions have the potential to become raging California wild fires, burning out of control and destroying everything in their path. This destruction can include our careers.

Emotional maturity means, in essence, controlling our emotions rather than allowing our emotions to control us. That does not mean we should hide or repress emotions. No one expects you to be a human Sphinx.

We can use muscle relaxation, yoga, guided imagery and other relaxation tools to reduce the intensity of negative emotions. As a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, I believe thoughts, in conjunction with our environment, influence our emotions. Fortunately, we can train our thoughts by becoming aware of our negative and inaccurate beliefs and ideas and transforming them.

Dr. Martha Starks (Modes of Therapeutic Action) defines psychological maturity as “being able to accept the reality of people and things as they are, without needing them to be other than that.” Where does this inability to accept reality originate? According to the renowned Beck Institute, the explanation is, “…distorted beliefs influence the processing of information, and give rise to distorted thoughts.”

Strangely, our brains will believe anything we tell them. If you tell your brain that you are at risk (physically, emotionally or psychologically), it reacts to that information as if it were accurate. The physiological manifestations can begin before we realize what has happened (i.e., heart palpitations, shaking, sweating), which intensifies the effect. If we replace negative, irrational, self-limiting thoughts with accurate, empowering and more adaptive thoughts, our emotional control will improve dramatically. What does that mean? It means our relationships become richer, we feel in control and happier, we like ourselves more, and we are more likely to reach our life and career goals.

What Does Emotional Maturity Look Like?

How do you recognize emotional maturity? An emotionally mature person will have many of the following traits:

· Knowing what one wants and making it happen

· Thinking before acting and having control over one’s behavior

· Self-reliance and the ability to take responsibility for one’s life and actions

· Seeing the larger picture beyond self interest

· Patience

· The ability to connect with others in a cooperative and positive way

· Genuinely caring about others and demonstrating that ability

· Honesty and living one’s principles

· Having moderation and balance in all things

· Having the ability to follow through, even when it is difficult

· Having humility and the ability to say, “I was wrong. I am sorry.”

(Inspired by the Swedish Medical Center)

Where are you on the emotional maturity continuum? Take the quiz and learn.

Quiz and Scoring

Check your level of emotional maturity by ranking each of the questions with a number from the following list:

1 Frequently

2 Sometimes

3 Never

Emotional Maturity Quiz

1. ___I am very comfortable talking about my emotions. I share.

2. ___ If I am feeling melancholy, I know why.

3. ___ If I am angry with a friend, I try to address the issue as soon as possible.

4. ___ I try to do my best and I feel good about my efforts.

5. ___ I know I can handle my problems, but, I talk them over with friends or family.

6. ___ I know that jealously is harmful to a relationship. I avoid it.

7. ___ I am not thrilled with rejection, yet I know it is part of life and I cope well with it.

8. ___ I am aware that I am not perfect. I like myself.

9. ___ No matter how hard I try, some people find fault with me. I realize their behavior is beyond my control and I am OK with that.

10. ___ I look for solutions to my problems rather than ruminating about them.

11. ___ I understand that I cannot control other people. I adjust.

12. ___ I adapt to change.

13. ___ I am relatively free from stress related symptoms.

14. ___ I find more satisfaction in giving than receiving.

15. ___ I have related to other people in a consistent manner with mutual satisfaction and helpfulness.

16. ___ I sublimate (to redirect one’s instinctive hostile energy into creative and constructive outlets).

17. ___ I love well.

(Questions 12-17 inspired by William C. Menninger, M.D., Menninger Clinic, Topeka, Kansas)

Scoring

Give yourself two points for each “1” answer and one point for each “2” answer. No points are given for “3” answers. Sorry.

Scores 17-25

Your score indicates you have very good to excellent emotional maturity and coping skills. You probably like yourself and others and have healthy, long-lasting relationships. You sleep relatively well and feel reasonably free from annoying emotional symptoms such as, anxiety, depression, guilt, jealousy and anger. You are flexible, therefore you can bend when the winds of change necessitate it, but you do not break. You probably have friends and co-workers with whom you share your ups and downs, and they reciprocate by sharing their emotions with you. You enjoy people and they appreciate your consistent positive mood. This does not mean that you do not have negative emotions; it means you are coping with them-- quite well. Congratulations.

Scores 26-34

Generally, you do well. However, there are areas of your emotional life you finding troubling. You may want to feel more energetic and optimistic about your career. You may have some physical complaints related to stress, such as headaches or gastrointestinal symptoms. Your relationships may not be as stable as you would prefer. An unrealistic, often negative, self-concept can be a prison. Examine your beliefs about yourself and keep the ones that empower you. Take responsibility for your emotions and your beliefs, rather than attributing them to external factors. How do you cope in a way that is in your best interest? Remember, some people are by genetic predisposition and/or their experiences in life, more emotionally expressive than others. This does not mean they are not okay. It simple means they might have to work harder to “train” their emotional expression. There is nothing inherently wrong with feeling and communicating emotions.

Emotions are, according to cognitive theory, created by our thoughts and beliefs in conjunction with the environment. If you want to control your emotions, become aware of the thoughts that create you feelings. Listen to what you are thinking. Write down your thoughts and evaluate them for accuracy and rationality. If they are not accurate or rational, change them to fit reality. The truth is incontrovertible. As Winston Churchill said about truth, “Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.” Often we upset ourselves because reality is not what we desire reality to be. Accepting is the answer to that bit of irrationality.

Face reality and remind yourself that you can handle whatever life throws in your lap. Evaluate your options and choose the ones that are most likely to produce healthy results.

Work on connecting with friends, co-workers and family. Perhaps you would benefit by sharing your concerns with people you believe are safe. Ask friends or team members for their input. They may offer constructive suggestions. If not, at least you will have the opportunity to discuss your concerns and be heard. Occasionally, all we need is someone to really hear us. Stretch out your hand to a friend who is faltering. Maybe you could offer a sympathetic ear to someone. Human touch is beautifully therapeutic.

We have control over many situations, but certainly not all. It is imperative that we understand the difference between the situations we can control and those we cannot. If you must have another person’s cooperation to resolve a situation, then you do not have complete control. Good luck.

Scores 35-51

You have some work to do before you will enjoy life as much as you deserve. That is a compelling statement, because it indicates you have the power to make positive changes in your emotional maturity. You may need knowledge to guide you and tools to accomplish the changes. Read the suggestions for the former category. Also, remember the mind-body connection. A healthy body can cope with the stressors inherent in life much more effectively than an unhealthy body. Perhaps part of your answer is getting fit and eating a healthful diet. You will find guidelines for achieving optimal physical fitness and/or a healthy lifestyle at the following websites:

American Heart Association http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/GettingHealthy_UCM_001078_SubHomePage.jsp

American Diabetes Association

http://www.diabetes.org/food-and-fitness/

Johns Hopkins

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health

Dr. Dorothy McCoy

Author, The Manipulative Man (2006)

(Know the enemy. Be warned. He knows you.)

http://www.themanipulativeman.net

Interviewing Best Practices

The Reid Technique is built on a core of principles that include the following:

1. Always conduct interviews and interrogations in accordance with the guidelines established by the courts

2. Do not make any promises of leniency

3. Do not threaten the subject with any physical harm or inevitable consequences

4. Do not deny the subject any of their rights

5. Do not deny the subject the opportunity to satisfy their physical needs

6. Always treat the subject with dignity and respect

Best Practices

The successful interrogation is one in which (1) the suspect tells the truth to the investigator and, (2) persuasive tactics used to learn the truth are legally acceptable. With these goals in mind, the following are a list of best practices for applying the Reid Technique, along with a brief discussion of each practice:

Conduct an interview before any interrogation. Absent a life-saving circumstance the investigator should conduct a non-accusatory interview before engaging in any interrogation. During the interview the investigator can establish rapport with the suspect, assess their credibility, develop investigative information and establish a behavioral baseline. Also, during the interview the suspect is more likely to reveal information that can be used to develop an interrogation strategy.

Conduct an interrogation only when there is a reasonable belief that the suspect is guilty or withholding relevant information. The belief that a suspect is guilty of a crime or is withholding relevant information may be based upon investigative information, evidence, the suspect's demeanor, or verbal responses to interview questions. The investigator should avoid conducting an accusatory interrogation as a technique to separate innocent from guilty suspects.

Consider a suspect's behavior in conjunction with case facts and evidence. The assessment of a suspect's credibility during an interview will be enhanced and likely more accurate if it is based not only on the suspect's verbal and nonverbal behavior, but also on case facts (the suspect's established opportunity, access, motive and propensity to commit the crime) as well as forensic or testimonial evidence.

Attempt to verify the suspect's alibi before conducting an interrogation. The most efficient means to prove a suspect's innocence is to verify his or her purported alibi. Conversely, when it is determined that the suspect provided a false alibi, this finding offers support for the suspicion of the suspect's probable guilt.

A single investigator should be the lead communicator. While it is often appropriate to have a third person in the room during an interrogation, perhaps as an observer or witness, there should only be one primary investigator communicating with the suspect at a time. A guilty suspect is more likely to offer a voluntary confession to a single investigator who has established a rapport and trust with the suspect. A tactic to be avoided is to have two or three investigators simultaneously bombarding the suspect with themes or alternative questions, or working as a "tag team" wearing the suspect down over an extended period of time.

When interrogating a non-custodial suspect, do not deprive the suspect from his freedom to leave the room. The suspect's exit from the interrogation room should not be blocked by positioning the investigator's chair between the suspect's chair and the door. The room should not be locked from the inside (requiring a key to open the door) and the room should not be in an area that requires a key or pass code to exit the building. Finally, the investigator should not make verbal statements implying that the suspect is not free to leave the room, e.g., "You're not going anywhere until we get this clarified!"

Do not conduct excessively long interrogations. In most instances, if the suspect is still adamantly maintaining his innocence and has not made any incriminating statements or admissions after three to four hours of interrogation the interrogation should be re-assessed and most likely terminated.

Exercise extreme caution when interrogating juveniles, suspects with a lower intelligence or suspects with mental impairments. This class of suspect is more susceptible to false confessions and, therefore, the investigator should be cautious in utilizing active persuasion such as discouraging weak denials, overcoming objections or engaging in deceptive practices. Proper corroboration of a confession will be critical with this class of suspect.

When using interrogation tactics involving deception the investigator should not manufacture evidence against the suspect. Courts make a distinction between false verbal assertions, e.g., "We found your fingerprints in her bedroom." which are permissible and manufacturing evidence, which is not permissible. An example of manufacturing evidence is taking the suspect's fingerprints and transferring the prints to an evidence card, which indicates that the prints were found in the victim's bedroom.

When a suspect claims to have little or no memory for the time period when the crime was committed the investigator should not lie to the suspect concerning incriminating evidence. While it is not uncommon for guilty suspects to feign memory loss, an overriding concern is an innocent suspect who experiences true memory loss for the time period when the crime was committed. Under this circumstance, if the investigator lies to the suspect about incriminating evidence and the suspect confesses, it may be argued that presenting false evidence caused an innocent suspect to believe that he had committed the crime.

Do not reveal to the suspect all information known about the crime. A legally admissible confession should include corroboration. One form of corroboration is information only the guilty suspect would know, e.g., the method of entry in a burglary, a memorable statement made to a victim, the denomination of money stolen, the murder weapon that was used, etc. When interviewing a suspect or offering information to the news media, the investigator should carefully guard this protected information so that the only person who would know it would be the investigator and the person who committed the crime.

Attempt to elicit information from the suspect about the crime that was unknown to the investigator. The best form of corroboration is information not known to the investigator about a crime that is independently verified as true. Examples of independent corroboration include the location of a knife used to kill the victim, where stolen property was fenced or the present location of a car the suspect stole.

The confession is not the end of the investigation. Following the confession the investigator should investigate the confession details in an effort to establish the authenticity of the subject's statement, as well as attempt to establish the suspect's activities before and after the commission of the crime

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